Positive Mental Attitude & Updates on Not Giving a Frick

~ installment no.2 in Trying to Be a Better Me ~

  1. the subtle art of not giving a frick.
  2. choosing to occupy a positive mental mindset.

Along with choosing not to take things too seriously by simply ‘not giving a frick’, another way that I believe I can best care for my mental health is by making a conscious effort to occupy a positive mental mindset. This might be better phrased as ‘positive mental attitude’, purely because you can shorten it to PMA. But same thing.

Choosing to think within a positive frame of mind is closely linked to my previous blog post on consciously choosing to not give a frick, to choose to look at the lighter side of things, to laugh and to breathe and to let go of things that honestly do not matter in the grand scheme of things. And this is because both of these involve actively choosing to train your brain to look upwards and see the silver linings above that grey cloud you’re (temporarily) sitting in.

IMG_7439 (1)This is a gorgeous pic I took last week whilst exploring the uni area with a new pal. Was really happily surprised to find such lovely ‘green’ areas in the centre of the city. How lovely is the little heart shape the swan and goose are (unknowingly) making?! Positivity breeds more positivity! Made my heart smile for sure! ❤

I am really enjoying my new university and the transition has gone super smoothly, 99% of which I’m sure is due to me not setting myself expectations of how things should go and massively lowering anxiety by NOT GIVING A FRICK!! Going with the flow, along with due preparation, truly works! TELLING YOURSELF THAT YOU WON’T GIVE A FRICK TRULY WORKS, PEOPLE. Mind over matter; mind over mind; whatever, the subtle art of not giving a frick works wonders for me by putting things in perspective, because I tend to give things too much weight that simply don’t need to take up so much weight in my mind.

Ok, so, listen. The food and the thoughts that you feed your brain WILL strongly affect its function, so it only makes sense that you use this to your advantage!

Become your own alchemist of external energy.
You can’t prevent people or situations from hurting you, but you DO have control over your response and how you react to each situation. This is what makes you, you.

It is our choices that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
–Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore*

Wield the vibes of the world to best suit you as if you’re a freakin wizard!!

There’s this YouTube channel called Infinite Waters that I like to watch from time to time when I’m feeling a bit meditative and in need of a peaceful pick-me-up. The guy, Ralph, makes an AWESOME point in which he defines emotions as energy in motion.

Emotion = Energy in Motion

Emotions are pretty much the most defining aspect that separates us living beings from inanimate objects. They also screw us over sometimes. In fact, I heard that our emotions are the LAST thing we should trust; don’t get mixed up between your emotions and your gut feeling. Follow your gut feeling. Don’t follow your emotions.

Emotions are beautiful. They make life so meaningful. But Emotion is temporary, kinetic, unreliable energy that will lead you astray if you follow it blindly.

Instead of being that daft, we can wield this temporary energy in a way that will benefit us and the world around us. It’s about finding perspective on a situation. And we wield temporary energy through the choices we make, through our responses to what happens to us (and through our actions – the energy that we put out into the world).

Today I almost left my empty coffee cup on the train because I couldn’t really be bothered to juggle it with holding my coat and my bag and my phone. But I caught the eye of an elderly gentleman sitting behind me as I stood up. I instantly felt bad about the action of leaving the cup behind. He probably wasn’t judging me about the cup at all; he might not have even seen the cup. But I took that cup with me and I put it in the bin, because A. it really wasn’t that hard to choose not to be lazy and not make someone else clean up after me and B. I honest-to-God believe that it’s the little things like that that allow us to put out good energy into the world!! Otherwise, I might’ve made someone feel negative energy if the only free seat had litter there! (Surely it isn’t just me who’s overly sensitive to minor things like that.)

Rambly anecdote aside, I should point out that using a disposable coffee cup was a really poor decision environmentally (blog post to come), especially as I do have a resuable plastic uni cup at home. I don’t usually bring it on outings; I’m not a coffee drinker and I just really felt like a hot chocolate whilst waiting for the train to arrive. It’s damn near impossible to be a perfect human being in this respect, but if we all at least try our best to think positively and act like a positive human, it will make the literal world of difference!

Sending all the positive, warm and content vibes your way today. ❤


*harry potter nerd alert. it’s still just too much fun to say his full name ok !!!

The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Frick

Confession: I give wayyy too many!!

My next three blogposts will concern the topic of Trying to Be a Better Me – all about the three main ways that I believe will most improve my life and well-being. Why three? Because it’s a great number with magical memory-related properties. 😀

Let’s kickstart this with the one that I find the MOST difficult:

  1. the subtle art of not giving a fuck.

I’m not a swearer. My real-life persona (or ‘brand’ if you will) seems to be a sweet innocent girl who only says nice (& maybe awkward) things. A few years ago I shocked someone by wearing a Slytherin scarf because she simply could not see any associations between me and the perceivedly darker Hogwarts house. But in order to break out of your shell, you’ve got to just think ‘fuck it’ sometimes! Agh, I feel uncomfortable, maybe I should just say ‘frick’ instead…

Fear of a name only increases fear of the thing itself. So fuck it.
–Hermione Granger*

It seems to me that a large aspect of not giving a fuck is occupying a more chill mindset. My natural mindset tends to be more of the anxious and scared kind. And this is exactly how I let fear control me! To take back control I need to take life’s challenges way less seriously, and say fuck it more often. Fuck. It! Fuuuck iiit. Well, it’s easier for me to type than to say out loud, anyways.

The whole idea of saying F it more often hit me like a ton of bricks when I watched the YouTuber Jim Chapman’s video on the topic. I remember feeling like, wow, this is amazing, I’m going to change my life by applying this from now on! …the video was around 2013, I think. (He seems to have since removed the video, maybe due to demonetisation..?) Fast forward and, goddamn, here I am having to remind myself that, oh yes, this is something good that I really should apply to my life. Why’s it gotta be so hard? (…probably because nothing worthwhile comes easy.)

I need to work hard to care for myself by always reminding myself of this. Doing what scares you is GOOD for you. EMBRACE THE UNCOMFORTABLENESS! It is what makes you HUMAN and enables your GROWTH, which is a beautiful thing. Apologies for overdoing the caps here.

To make the most of your time here on beautiful earth, do one thing everyday that scares you, as said the wonderfully wise Eleanor Roosevelt.

Steps to achieving goal of giving less fucks:

Say it out loud: I don’t give a flying fuck what people think of me anymore. I will do whatever makes me smile, because I love myself and I am my first priority.

Note to self: DON’T give any actual fucks next week when I start the induction week of my law degree. Enjoy it, even! Don’t take any second of it too seriously! It’ll be over before you know it; in fact, this whole year will be over before I know it, and I’ll have to get a bloody job then. So I want to try and act like the whole thing is a bit of a laugh, a comedy, a bit of entertainment to keep me occupied. I don’t want to force any expectations of how it should go, or how I think it’ll go, in terms of who I will meet and what I will say and what I will be feeling. There is NO pressure that I need to do anything out of this world. I will just go with it.

Will update you on how that goes. ❤

*Hermione never actually said ‘so fuck it’, but I’m sure she was thinking it.

edit: i have changed the title to say ‘frick’ instead of ‘fuck’ because the latter word in a title of mine feels far too abrasive and just wrong x

The First One

My name is Charlotte, and I love writing. I love creating. I love using the internet (who doesn’t?).

So, I’m very excited to finally open a blog and put these loves to good use!

I want this blog to be a positive space on the web that can inspire self-improvement and self-care. Generally I think that I am a happy person, but unfortunately I do suffer from some weird chemical imbalances in my brain that try and make me depressed sometimes. I’m hoping this blog can be a platform that reminds me as well as any readers (!) that bad times always pass, and there’s a humungous amount of stuff to be grateful for. It’s too easy to forget that life is amazing, tbh.

If you have any tips for me as I embark on this blogging business then please do let me know. I could read everything the internet has to offer about ‘how to write a blog’ but I won’t get anywhere until I actually start!